Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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