My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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