I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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