so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have post one night stand depression
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