I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
