We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How external is "for external use only"?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
