Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
