Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
