Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
