All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
