Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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