Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
