As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
