All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
