Girls should come with a carfax report
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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