Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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