Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
