if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
