...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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