You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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