Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
