we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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