There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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