The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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