Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
