I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
