the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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