her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
