Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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