apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
