my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
