So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
