Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
