I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
