The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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