i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
