dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
