Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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