I got chris browned last night
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
