My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
