You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
