Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
