JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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