I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
