I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
