the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This girl is more easily done than said...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
