All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
