I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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