So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
