I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
