Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
