"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
