i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
