So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
